Dcn. Rod Knight
I was asked to do this bulletin article on the Diocese of Superior Clergy Workshop. First let me say our Bishop is well; Father Adam and Father Thomas were both present and were as joyful as ever.
The workshop was presented by Pat and Kenna Millea (Martin Center for Integration), and the subject was “Fully Alive; Training for Mental and Spiritual Well-being”. Because there is no possible way to cover the workshop in five hundred words, a link is included at the end of this reflection to add to our toolboxes.
“Sanctity and sanity go hand in hand; they both require effort.
Resistance to self-care is an issue of pride.”
Everyone is mentally healthy when everything is going well. But how do we respond when things get difficult? Mental health is using the mind and body (which are always connected) to accurately perceive reality (truth), to respond to stressors and changes, in order to be in loving relationship with God, self and others (Communion). We share our intellect and will with the Angelic realm and our senses and emotions with the animal world, we can see the struggle already. We must find balance between the two.
Feelings are like little kids, we can’t allow them to drive the car, but we can’t lock them in the trunk either. We must understand that feelings are messengers. The primary feeling family comes down to six primary feelings: Mad (there has been a violation), Sad (a loss or anticipated loss), Scared (danger or anticipated danger), Joyful, Peaceful, and Powerful (capable or confident). The last three are ordered for our good. Keep in mind none of our emotions are good or evil, it is what we choose to do with them that brings good or evil into play.
Self-care is for others and for service and giving, it is the thing we need to do to be a gift to others. It is not about us! We do have the basic human needs to maintain our mental health: Sleep (7-8 hours men and 8 or more for women), Nutrition (protein and produce), Hydration (limit caffeine), Body Movement (exercise), Personal Prayer (not communal), Peer Community (people who understand us and our vocations).
Healthy, holy self-care comes down to the things we need to do to return to our duties and responsibilities with greater joy, freedom and generosity. Healthy boundaries for self and others, understanding our tolerance levels and how we react, understanding what is outside our control and taking accountability for the things we can control, and the power of forgiveness are all great places to start. Think of the oxygen masks in an airplane, we have to take care of ourselves first in order to help others.